Just Breathe
by XtremeLita
Summary: Rafe tells Alison he's in love with her.. Alison tells Rafe she can't see him anymore-- until a tragic twist of fate throws these two together.. which causes Alison's 23 year-old sister, Natalie to return to Port Charles.
1. Chapter One - Final Goodbyes

Just Breathe  
  
*Chapter One*  
  
Final Goodbyes  
  
********************  
  
  
  
It was an normal, winter morning, and Rafe was sitting on an empty bench in the park.. as usual, he was alone again. He came back to Port Charles to be with Alison.. and yet, he was here, in the park and by himself. And suddenly, he found himself wondering how he got to this point? What had he done that was so horrible, to deserve to go through this sort of heartache. He slowly raised his fingers to his cold, pink lips, remembering the passionate kiss he and Alison shared only the night before.  
  
He suddenly stood up, as he had begun pacing quickly before the bench. Plagued by thoughts of Alison. "My god, Alison, why can't I stop thinking about you?" he wondered. His eyes soon shifted onto the light, blue sky, "Can't you at least help me out here? Give me some sort of sign.. anything?" he sighed heavily, before sitting down again.  
  
His eyes shifted on the cold, white snow, to where his over-night bag was sitting. He picked the bag up in his hands, and set it down gently beside him. Digging through the bag, he pulled out a book. The book he held within his grasp wasn't an ordianary book, it was Rafe's journal. He expressed his deepest, most passionate confessions within this book. He poured his heart and soul within beautifully written words. Most of what had been written since his death and his last visit to earth concerned the woman he secretly ached for, ..that woman was Alison Barrington. He read over the words, searching for some sort of sign that would reveal what he felt for Alison.. and why.  
  
As he read aloud from his journal, one entry caught his eye. "Janurary, Two-Thousand and One," he began slowly. "I couldn't believe that Ed had actually allowed me to come back down to earth. I had sworn up and down to him that my main and only mission would be putting Jamal and Alison back together, yet as true as my words were, I continusly find myself thinking that all I ever wanted was to be with Alison again..." Rafe stopped himself short for a few brief moments, giving himself time to think about those words. "This is more than just a little strange for me though, because even when I was alive, I had never met anyone like her. I mean, of course she has her faults when it comes to certain things, yet still.. she's the most compassionate person I have ever known. When I met her, it was unlike anything I had ever felt.. she made me feel what it was like to live again. She gave me a reason to want to stay in Port Charles. She.. she opened up my eyes to such wonderful and beautiful things-" Rafe stopped himself before reading anymore, his face froze in shock at the realization that he had just come upon. "I.. I love her? I love Alison!" he quickly shoved his journal in his bag, and violently flung it over his back. "I have to tell her.. she has to know how I feel!" he vowed, as he quickly left the park, not realizing that his journal had fell out of his bag, and laid upon the snow for someone to discover.  
  
  
  
On his way to see Alison, Rafe realized that he had rushed off so quickly, that he hadn't even thought about what he'd say, or how he'd say it when he told her. He stopped only blocks away from her apartment, leaning against a wall, he sighed roughly, trying like hell to come to some sort of conclusion. The truth was, his feelings for Alison were so out of control, that he had been as confused as hell about his next move.. all that mattered to him now was the mere fact that he was in love with her. As long as he knew that, he didn't care about anything else.  
  
Suddenly, small pedals of snowflakes had begun to fall, signaling that a brutal blizzard would soon arrive in Port Charles. Hugging his leather coat tight to his chest, a building caught his eyes, and suddenly, he knew exactly how he'd tell Alison he was in love with her.. with a single, pink rose. Running towards the flower shop, he bought the rose and headed straight for Alison's place as fast as he possibly could. There was no turning back now.  
  
********************  
  
Alison couldn't have been more happier in her life.. now that her relationship with Jamal was back on track, and Valerie was getting the much- needed help in the institution. There was only one thing that could come between her relationship with Jamal now, and that was her unrequited feelings for her guardian angel, Rafe. Flashing back to an earlier conversation with Jamal, she remembered how the two of them had agreed to put each other first.. and to do that, Alison had to throw away her friendship with Rafe.  
  
Just thinking about how this news would break Rafe's heart, it tore Alison up inside. Rafe had been the one, if only, person that had been there for her when she needed someone the most. She hated herself for what she was about to do to Rafe, she convinced herself that once she delivered the cold, hard facts to him, that he'd hate her.. and at that point, she believed it were for the best. No matter how much it hurt. She cared deeply for Rafe, but no matter how deep her feelings went for her angel, nothing was more important to her than building a life with Jamal.. and even she knew, she couldn't have both Rafe and Jamal in her life. So, she prepared to make the hardest choice of her young life.  
  
Alison sat on the black sofa in her apartment, holding her hands under her chin and looking into the distance. She was plagued with memories of the good times she had with Rafe.. her best friend. Every now and again, a tear would fall from the corner of her eye, revealing how deeply her decision had hurt her. She couldn't even begin to imagine how this would effect Rafe.. all she knew, or even cared about, was putting her relationship with Jamal before all else.  
  
Suddenly, she heard a hard knock at the door, which caused her to snap out of her thoughts. Getting up slowly and approaching the door, she was shocked to see who her company was. "Rafe..." she choked out. She was able to get his name out, but the rest of her words were at a loss. "What, um.. are you-- what are you doing here?"  
  
Rafe's sweet, angelic smile shined through his bright, blue saphire eyes. That was usually the first thing that came to mind when Alison thought about Rafe.. his saphire blues, the ones that peirced a hole straight through to her soul. His angelic smile, which made her go weak in the knees everytime he flashed those handsome dimples.  
  
"I needed to see you.." he breathed. "Alison," he began slowly, still holding the single, pink rose behind his back. "There's something I have to tell you."  
  
"Yeah?" her tone revealed confusion. "Rafe, there's something I need to tell you as well."  
  
"Really?" he sounded hopeful, thinking she was referring to her feelings for him. "Well, you go first."  
  
"No, no.. please, you go first. You came all this way, and from the tone of your voice and the glow in your eyes, I can tell it's something pretty big."  
  
"There's no hiding anything from you," he chuckled lightly. "but, I'm not so sure if this is really something you want to hear..."  
  
"What is that suppose to mean?" she questioned in a baffled tone. "What could you possibly tell me that I wouldn't like?"  
  
"Alison," he began softly. "You have to understand, this is a little hard for me.. I mean, I never meant--" he stopped himself before going any further. As he usually did when he had a hell of a time getting the right words out, Rafe placed his fingertip on his lips. "I've never experienced this before. You know that I died at a young age, before I even had the chance to experience the finer things in life, ..are you following me on this?"  
  
Tears began to form at the corners of Alison's eyes.. for months, she had seen the signs; hell, even Jamal, Jack and Livvie suspected how Rafe had felt about her.. but she never in her life thought it was 'love'.. caught between a rock and a hard place, Alison knew what she had to do, ..she didn't really have any other choice. "Rafe," she began slowly, and hesitantly. "are you in love with me?"  
  
Rafe's face quickly turned crimson red at not only Alison's question, but the expression on her face and the confusion in her eyes. "I, um.. I don't know. I, I think I am." he stated, nervously. "How did you know?"  
  
Now, Alison was finally hit with the cold, hard truth. Before, when she planned to tell Rafe that she couldn't see him anymore, it broke her heart.. but now that she knew that he was in love with her, she wasn't exactly sure what it would do to him.. yet, be that it may, she could never be with him. Even if she did love him.. her place was with Jamal. "It's really not that easy to miss." she replied matter-of-factly.  
  
"Why do I get the feeling this is definitely something you don't want to hear?"  
  
Alison couldn't bare to look him in the eyes, it just hurt too damn much. "Rafe-" she paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I can't see you anymore."  
  
"What? Why?" the tone in his voice was hurtful, yet he kept a straight face.  
  
She turned back towards him, looking him dead-set in the eyes, "I love Jamal. My life is with HIM, not with YOU.. I know that your in love with me, and yes.. I've had feelings for you, but nothing that ever came as close to love.. nothing that even compares to what I feel for Jamal. Your an angel, Rafe, even if I did love you.. we could never be together."  
  
"But, I.."  
  
"Rafe, no.. please, don't do this. I don't want to hurt you even more than I already have. Right now, you might think that this doesn't bother you, but I know you better than that.. and I know this is killing you inside. Just as it is me." she stated clearly. "As much as I don't want to do this, I don't really have a choice. If I want to build a future with the man I love, which is Jamal, I have to give this up.. we have to give this up. We can't see each other anymore."  
  
"I'm sorry." was all he could manage at that time.  
  
"I know you are, and so am I." she whispered softly, as tears fell down the sides of her face. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, and I hope you feel the same."  
  
"I do." he answered sadly. "Your happiness was all that ever mattered, even if it wasn't with me."  
  
"I'm sorry." she managed through choked tears.  
  
"Don't be." he replied, approaching her. "Here," he revealed the pink rose he had bought for her. "I doubt that anyone has ever given you a pink rose before, so therefore, whenever you see one, you'll think of me."  
  
"I will," she agreed. "I could never forget you, Rafe."  
  
As she held the pink rose in her hand, she looked down on it and smiled softly, looking back up into Rafe's saphire blues, the tears came flooding back. Rafe quickly embraced her, "Please don't cry," he pleaded. "even though this is our final goodbye, we still have the memories. Those, we'll never forget."  
  
"Never.." she agreed tearfully, as she pulled away from him. "I think you should go now."  
  
Rafe silently approached the door, glancing back at Alison only once, whispering "I'm sorry", as he disappeared through the door. After the door closed, both Alison and Rafe fell against the opposite sides of it, tears rolling down their cheeks.  
  
"I love you.." were the last words either had said that night.  
  
******************** 


	2. Chapter Two - Goodbye Means Hello

Just Breathe  
  
*Chapter Two*  
  
Goodbye Means Hello  
  
********************  
  
The following morning had arrived, and there was still no sign of Jamal. Of course, the night before wasn't any different. Jamal had mentioned that he had a few errands to run, but he never mentioned how long he would be gone... nor, that he'd be gone this long. Alison was plagued with worry by this point, and even at every noise she heard, she practicually jumped at the thought of it being Jamal.  
  
"Jamal," she whispered shakily. "where are you?" she questioned aloud, when suddenly, the phone rang out in a thunderous tone, almost causing her to jump out of her skin. Wasting no time in dodging for the phone, she picked up the reciever, clasping her hand tightly to her chest. "Hello? Hello?" she questioned abruptly.  
  
"Hey, baby girl, it's me."  
  
"Jamal!" she cried. "Oh my god! Thank god your alright.. I thought, that-- you were.."  
  
"I can hardly hear you, Ali. The reception on this payphone ain't all that great.."  
  
She smiled tearfully at the notion that Jamal was alright, "You know what, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm just happy to hear your voice."  
  
"Same." he answered shortly. "Look, Ali, there's something you need to know.."  
  
"Yeah?" she questioned expectantly.  
  
"Well," he began, his tone growing weak. "yesterday, when I left the apartment.. when I told you I had errands to run, well.. there was only one."  
  
"One..?" she questioned quite hesitantly. "Jamal, where are you going with this?"  
  
"I went to see Valerie." he stated clearly.  
  
"And?" she questioned sarcastically. "Look, Jamal, I know that you feel you have some sort of obligation to Valerie, especially since she's going through such a terrible ordeal right now. And don't take this the wrong way, but right now.. I really think that your the last person Valerie needs."  
  
"Ali," he began. "Valerie's dead."  
  
Alison's jaw dropped at Jamal's revelation, her faced turned white and she almost let the phone slip through her fingers. Alison was too shocked to say a word, she just couldn't believe something like this had happened. "Wait a minute.. Valerie, she's dead? But, just yesterday she was.. Jamal, how the hell did this happen?"  
  
"I know, I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't been there. But, the reality is, Valerie is dead.. and it's my fault."  
  
"What? No, Jamal, this is NOT your fault. Don't you dare blame yourself!"  
  
"Just think about it-- a week ago, Valerie was perfectly happy. She had her daughter, the only thing that ever mattered to her.. if only I wouldn't have taken that away from her by signing away my rights as Hope's father, she would still be happy. She would still be alive. Before, when she blamed us for taking away everything that ever mattered to her, I thought it was only her depression talking.. but now, now I can clearly see what she saw. We did this, Ali, we're responsible for her death."  
  
"Jamal, no.." she answered in a tone of disbelief. "You just hold on right there! None of this is your fault.. our fault! We did nothing wrong!" she cried out with such rage. Afterwards, she took in a deep breathe to calm herself down a bit, "why don't you tell me exactly what happened?"  
  
"Look, Ali, I can't really talk about this on the phone right now.." his voice silently trailed off into the distance. "Right now, I'm in Chicago with the Hartman's, making funeral arrangements, and I.. I just can't talk about this right now, especially with you. I'll see you when I come home, aight?"  
  
"Jamal, wait!" she cried. "Jamal?" she didn't get an answer, and after that, all she heard was him hanging up on her. Slowly placing the phone back into it's place, she ran her fingers violently through her blonde locks, "I can't believe this happened.." she admitted aloud. "I have to go to Chicago.. I need to be with Jamal!"  
  
Alison ran into her and Jamal's bedroom, dodging for the closet and whipping out her overnight bag. She threw the bag roughly onto her bed, then shortly crossed over to her dresser, pulling open the drawers and grabbing as much clothing as she figured she'd need for her stay in Chicago. Which, actually, wasn't too much.. which was a bit suprising coming from Alison, considering that she was usually a pack-rat when it came to going on a road trip. Finally, after shoving all of her clothes into her overnight bag, she threw the bag over her shoulder, grabbed the keys to her car and was out the door.. heading for Chicago.  
  
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With a soft, bright smile on her face, and only blocks away from her apartment, on her way to Chicago, Alison reached for the tuning button on the radio in her car. Once the radio was on, a very special, very meaningful song played throughout the speakers in her car, as she listened tearfully to the lyrics.  
  
I can't imagine living my life without you now   
Not ever having you around   
We found our way out   
(on you I can depend)   
Don't have to look back to realize how far we've come   
There are million reasons   
I'm lookin up   
I don't want this to end   
Nothin   
Nothin should ever bring you down   
Knowing what goes around will come around   
  
"Your a very special person to me, you know that, right?" she admitted, whole-heartedly to him. "I know, believe me.. I know, and I'll never forget." he answered with a soft smile. "I mean, through all of this.. your the only one who has been there for me, the only one whose cared. Even when I've taken all my pain.. all my heartache out on you, you never, not even once, turned your back on me. You've been there for me this entire time, watching over me like your my own, personal guardian angel." "Maybe I am." he grinned softly. "You showed me that dreams can come true.. because of you, I believe.."  
  
You showed me faith is not blind   
I don't need wings to help me fly   
Miracles happen, once in a while   
When you believe   
(miracles happen)   
You showed me dreams come to light   
That takin a chace on us was right   
All things will come with a little time   
When You believe   
  
"When you believe, Alison, anything is possible." "You changed my life, in more ways than one," she paused for a slight moment, laughing tearfully, "what am I going to do without you? Without you, I can't see anything else. Your my best friend, and to lose you is worse than a tragic death.. just the thought of never seeing you again, it breaks my heart." "I'll always be with you, Alison, all you have to do is look up and you'll know I'm there, watching down on you." he smiled, reaching out his arms and pulling her into him. "I don't want to say goodbye, because I know that if I do, I'll forget.." she cried. "Always remember.." he whispered finally, before disappearing out of her arms. "I'll always remember.." she whispered tearfully, looking up to the gods.  
  
There is no question we found the missing pieces   
Our picture is complete   
It's fallen into place   
(it's fallen into place)   
This is our moment, you and I are looking up   
Someone is watching over us   
Keeping me close   
Closer to you everyday  
  
The song was finally over, with memories plaguing Alison's thoughts of the emotional goodbye that took place between Rafe and herself on Christmas Eve. With tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes were distracted away from the road.. quickly realizing how careless she had been with her driving, she pulled over onto the side of the road.   
  
"Damn it, Ali!" she scolded herself, "You love Jamal.. not Rafe," she reminded herself. "then why can't I stop thinking about him?" she wondered. Then, the more she thought about it, the more she came to realize what everyone else has known for so long. "Maybe," she began slowly. "could I be falling.. in--" she suddenly stopped herself from saying the words. "No, no.. no!"  
  
Suddenly, there was a pounding on the glass window on the passengers side of the car, which literally caused Alison to jump out of her skin. "Alison!" the other person yelled, drastically trying to get her attention.  
  
Clasping her hand to her chest, thinking she's going to have an heart-attack, Alison breathed in slowly before rolling down the window on the passengers side. "Rafe?" she questioned, confusion taking over the tone in her voice. "Since when has goodbye meant hello?" she questioned, the tone in her voice revealing nothing but sarcasm. She quickly brushed off that question with another, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I could ask you the same, but I'm getting the feeling that asking that of you isn't for the best at this point." he babbled. Rafe continued after looking both ways, then opening the door and hopping into the front seat. "From the look of things, it seems that you have the same intentions as myself.."  
  
"Come again?" she questioned sarcastically.  
  
"Your leaving town, am I right?"  
  
"Yeah, but under different circumstances.. you see, I'm leaving Port Charles to be with my boyfriend, who feels responsible for his exes death, while you.. your leaving town because you have nothing keeping you here."  
  
"Right!" he replied unphased, not even realizing what Alison had said about Jamal feeling responsible for Valerie's death. "Um, wait a minute.. let's back up a few steps here. What was that about a 'death'? Who died?"  
  
"Valerie." Alison stated, looking away.  
  
"What? How?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Well, what do you know?"  
  
"Nothing!" she growled.  
  
"Okay. Really though, there's no need to take your grief out on me, Ali." he stated, the hurt taking over the tone in his voice. "So, I take all you know is that Valerie is dead, and Jamal feels responsible.. right?"  
  
"Exactly," she began. "And, if you don't mind. I'd really like to be on my way now."  
  
"Actually, I do mind." he stated clearly.  
  
"What?" she questioned, clearly confused.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Alison.. your clearly in an emotional state of mind right now, and taking this trip, to wherever, by yourself, is really the last thing you need."  
  
"Fine!" she yelled, feeling beaten. "If your staying, then would you mind shutting that damn door so we can leave?!"  
  
"My pleasure." he grabbed the handle on the car door, and slammed it shut.. soon thereafter, Alison hit the gas and they sped off.  
  
"Woah there, do you even realize how fast your driving right now?" Rafe questioned, grabbing for anything within his reach.  
  
"I don't care!" she replied in a stubborn tone.  
  
"Well, I do. And I actually care about the time I have left on earth, so if you don't mind-" he reached for the steering-wheel, only to have Alison shove him away. "What the hell is going on with you?!" he demanded.  
  
She turned towards him, with pre-tears in her eyes. "Do you really need to ask?"  
  
"Yeah, I do.. because right now, I don't even feel like I know you. Your a completely different person."  
  
"I don't even know why I continue to try and make things right with everyone. I mean, I'm damned if I do.. and I'm damned if I don't, right? You know me, Rafe, I always put everyone else before myself. God, I hate that! First, when Valerie came to town, I watched on knowingly, while Jamal pushed me away and put Valerie and his daughter before everything else. Then, I got involved with you and nearly ruined my relationship with Jamal, thus refusing to give up either of you at first. Then, to satisfy Jamal, I give my friendship with you up!"  
  
"Your a good person, Alison, there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all."  
  
"Your wrong, Rafe! So terribly wrong.. you see, before I met you.. before I even met Jamal, I didn't have a care in the world. Anything and everything I ever did was care-free. That's the luxuries of being a Barrington.. never having to give a damn about anyone, or anything. Even if it meant being a cold, heartless bitch, and living alone without love.. at least heartbreak was never an issue for me back then. And now, everywhere I turn, all I give and recieve is heartbreak, no matter how good my intentions!"  
  
Rafe couldn't bare to look into her tear-bound eyes, it was just too painful for him. He turned away from her, his eyes shifting back onto the road. Suddenly, his eyes grew wide in shock and his face turned 'ghost' white. "Alison.." he whispered, trying desperately to choke the words out.  
  
"What?!" she growled in a frustrated tone.  
  
"ALISON! WATCH OUT!!!" he yelled frantically. 


	3. Chapter Three - A Tragic Twist of Fate

Just Breathe  
  
*Chapter Three*  
  
A Tragic Twist of Fate  
  
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Rafe's frantic message caused Alison to quickly shift her eyes back onto the road. She asked herself a million and one questions within only moments, giving her no time to react to anything. Not Rafe's please, or how he had been continusly begging of her to slow down.. and most of all, when she witnessed herself in an head-on collison with another vehicle.. a semi, she froze like ice. Knowing this could possibly be the end of her life as she had come to know it, and accepting the fact that there was no stopping a collison, she slowly turned towards Rafe.. his scared, blue eyes burning into hers. And before everything quickly went black, Alison whispered something to him that neither would possibly remember...  
  
"I love you, Rafe."  
  
Moments afterwards, Alison's small car collided with the huge semi.. soon thereafter, Rafe, Alison and the truck driver's future's laid uncertain..  
  
********************  
  
Jack and Livvie sat in their apartment. Jack sat on the far left of their black leather sofa, switching violently through the channels on the television, while Livvie sat at the other end, appearing to be deep in thought about something or another. She turned towards her boyfriend slowly, her eyes burning on him, while his eyes stayed glued on the televison.   
  
"Jack?" she began slowly.  
  
Jack's attention was taken off the televison and diversed on his questioning girlfriend. "What's up?"  
  
"I was just curious about something..." her voice softly trailed off with silence.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Have you heard from either Jamal or Alison lately?"  
  
Jack looked off into the distance for moments on before answering, "Actually, I heard from Jamal yesterday, but.."  
  
"But what?!" she demanded, her tone revealing worry. "I'm sorry, Jack." she added shortly. "I'm just, I'm getting this horrible feeling that something really bad has happened. And I just, I took my frustration out on you."  
  
"It's okay, Liv, really." he assured her. "Actually, I think I know why you've been getting bad vibes.."  
  
"Yeah?" she questioned, expectantly.  
  
"Well, yesterday, when Jamal called.." his voice trailed off into the distance, as he found himself not being able to find the right words to say. "Livvie, something horrible happened when Jamal went to see Valerie at the hospital.."  
  
Livvie couldn't even begin to fathom what possibly could've happened during Jamal's visit to the hospital.. a million thoughts ran continusly through her mind, "Jack," she began lightly. "Please, tell me.. what happened?"  
  
"What happened.." he repeated, distantly. "It was horrible, Livvie.. when Jamal told me what happened, I couldn't believe it. I didn't even want to imagine how it all went down." he added. "Yesterday, Jamal went to see Valerie, and I guess everything was going just fine.. up until the subject of Alison came up, that is. I guess, from there, Valerie completely lost it. She blamed Jamal and Alison for taking everything away from her.. her daughther, her family.. everything."  
  
"And...?"  
  
"Well, from what Jamal had said on the phone, Valerie somehow got a hold of a gun before his visit, and she eventually ended up pulling it on him. He tried talking to her, and from what I heard, it seemed that Jamal almost got through to her, but it just wasn't enough.."  
  
"Oh my god.." Livvie's tone revealing nothing more than bewildered shock. "If you talked to Jamal, and he told you all of this, then.. Valerie, she must be-- she's dead? Jamal killed her?"  
  
"Livvie," Jack began, sighing deeply. "It was an tragic accident. Nothing more, and nothing less. It was never suppose to happen, but eventually, it did.." his voice trailing off with silence. "There's nothing we can do now, but wait here for word on what happened."  
  
"But, I--" she was suddenly cut off by the ringing of the telephone.  
  
Livvie was about to get up, but Jack quickly beat her to the punch, stopping her from moving. "Let me get that.. your in no shape or form to be talking to anyone else right now." he answered, sternly. Soon, approaching the telephone, he picked it up in his hands, "Hello?"  
  
"Jack?" questioned a familiar voice.  
  
"Your talking to him," Jack answered softly, distracted by Livvie.  
  
Not realizing the distance in his voice, she continued on as if nothing else even mattered.. because at that point, nothing else really did. "Jack, I.. I was, um.."  
  
Taking his attention off Livvie and averting it towards his phone coversation, he suddenly realized who was on the other line. "Natalie? Is that you?" Jack seemed excited to hear from her, yet Livvie's face instantly turned to ice at her name.  
  
"Yeah, it's me.." her voice softly trailed off with silence. "Look, Jack, I know that me and your girlfriend aren't exactly the best of friends, but I didn't know who else to call."  
  
Jack hadn't seen, or even spoke to Natalie since their final goodbye on the docks only a year before. Back then, Jack was a carefree spirit who didn't give a damn about anything.. or anyone. That was when rich, Natalie Barrington entered his life.. when he least needed someone the most-- when his mother died.. when he had nobody to turn to.   
  
Jack and Natalie have been through alot with each other over the years, sharing a deep connection with each other with all that they've been through. The most important above all else was that Jack and Natalie changed each other.. she showed him what it was like to love, ..and live. And he showed her that there was more to life than just money.. much more. Yet, it was never enough for them.. their differences were their ultimate downfall, and the two eventually went their seperate ways when Jack fell hard for Livvie Locke, and Natalie got involved with bad boy, Jason Morgan.  
  
"Natalie, what's wrong." Jack's tone revealed a huge amont of cocern for the woman he once loved. "What happened.." his voice trailed off with silence as he soon felt Livvie's eyes burning a whole through him, he turned towards his girlfriend, sharing those same, cold stares. "Can you hold on just one moment, Nat?"  
  
"Sure." she remarked, understandably.  
  
Placing his hand over the reciever, Jack gave Livvie a disapproving look. "Look, Liv, you have nothing to worry about here, so you can just cut the jealousy bullshit out, alright?" he slowly approached the door, "I'm going to take this outside." he added, before opening the door, stepping outside, and silently closing the door behind him. "Okay, Nat, what's going on?"  
  
Natalie glared through the window of ICU, there laid her sister, Alison, hooked to at least twenty different tubes. She watched on hopelessly, wondering how something like this could possibly of happened. For hours now, the tears had come, and just couldn't seem to stop.. and when they did, thoughts of death would plague her mind. Oh, how she'd wish it were her in that bed, so close to death.. not her sister. She'd give absolutely anything to take back every bad thing she had said, or even did to Alison.. but even she knew, it was too late for regrets.  
  
"I'm at the hospital." she stated clearly.  
  
"What?" Jack choked out, he felt terrifed. "Are you okay? Your not hurt, are you?"  
  
"No, no.. no, Jack.. it's not me. It's.. it's Alison, she's intensive care. She was involved in a tragic automobile accident with some other guy, Rafe Kovich, I think that's his name.. anyway, things are looking really bad for her, and him. They might not make it." with every word, her tone got more frightening. "I'm scared Jack, I.. what if, she-- what if Ali dies, what am I going to do?"  
  
Jack couldn't believe a word that Natalie said, he didn't want to. Alison was one of his best friends, and just the thought of her dying, it scared the hell out of him. It wasn't only that, with Natalie, he felt as if he owed it to her to be ther for her.. he couldn't let her suffer alone. "Okay, Nat, you just sit tight.. I'll be there soon."  
  
Turning off the phone, and entering the apartment, Jack locked eyes with Livvie.. she seemed to still be angry at him. She hated how Jack would always jump at the chance to come to Natalie's rescue and just forget about everything else, especially her.   
  
"So.." Livvie began, calmly. "What did Cinderella want this time.. is her white night on his way to the rescue, yet again?"  
  
"Livvie," he began distatnly. "please.. don't start, not now."  
  
Livvie studied Jack closely. Something was wrong.. something was terribly wrong. "Jack," she began lightly, worried. "What's wrong."  
  
"I have to go to the hospital." he stated clearly. "Alison was in a terrible accident, and she.. she might not make it. And Natalie, this is killing her inside-- she honestly thinks she might lose her sister." he explained while grabbing his coat and car keys.  
  
"Oh my god," Livvie remarked, placing her hand over her mouth in shock. "This isn't happening," she approached Jack, embracing him. "please, tell me, Jack.. this isn't happening."  
  
Jack slowly pulled away from Livvie.. he felt exactly the same way she had about this entire situation. He hated it. Who wouldn't? "Oh, it's happening.. although I wish it weren't, there's really not a damn thing we can do about it, but be there for Alison when she wakes up."  
  
"If she wakes up." Livvie replied distantly.  
  
"Don't say that Livvie." Jack pleaded with her. "Alison WILL wake up.. and as much as I hate the guy, Rafe will wake up as well."  
  
"God, how did this happen?" Livvie pondered, aloud.  
  
"I don't know, Livvie, I honestly don't know." Jack answered. "Look, I really need to get to the hospital." he turned away from Livvie, approaching the door.  
  
"I'm going with you!" she quickly grabbed her coat, and rushed out of the apartment with him.  
  
********************  
  
Walking up to Natalie with two cups of coffee, Jason took a seat next to her in an empty chair just outside of ICU. "Are you alright?" he questioned his girlfriend, sincerely.  
  
"I, I don't know." she answered, shakily. "Honestly," she began, glancing up at him with tear-bound eyes. "if Ali doesn't make it through this terrible ordeal, I don't think I'll ever be okay."  
  
"I want to say that I understand what your going through, but really, I can't. I mean, before my accident, I probably could've.. but ever since then, I haven't really been the emotional type, you know?"  
  
"I know, Jason, and believe me.. I'm not looking for understanding, or anything else for that matter. I just, I.. I want my sister back. So badly." she cried, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend.  
  
Jason comforted her as best he knew he could. Holding her in his arms, while running his fingers through her blonde strands every now and again, he reassured her that everything would be okay.. yet, even he knew that was a lie.  
  
Jack and Livvie came rushing in through the ER, both looking in every direction for someone who knew details on Alison's condition. They went through three or four different nurses with an inquisition before Jack spotted Natalie from a distance.. crying in the arms of her boyfriend, Jason Morgan. At first, he felt a twinge of jealousy at the sight of Natalie in the arms of someone such as Jason, but it was only a momentary thing for him as he soon realized, he was the one who drove her there.. into the arms and life of the mob.  
  
Jack grabbed Livvie by the hand, immediately rushing over to Natalie and Jason, "So," he began, abruptly getting their attention.. causing them to break their embrace. "how is she?"  
  
"Jack!" Natalie exclaimed. Excited, and overwhelmed with emotions, she embraced him as quickly as she stood up. Once getting that warm feeling that everything was going to be okay now that he was there, she broke away from the embrace, looking up into his warm, brown eyes. "Nothing has changed since I called," she began softly. "she's still in ICU, and.. well, Ian made the decision to induce a coma."  
  
"Was that really necessary?" Livvie questioned. "I mean, the coma won't cause any problems, or will it?"  
  
Natalie looked pass Jack, glaring intensely into the eyes of the woman who stole the love of her life from the very palm of her hands. Back then, she hated Livvie for being the one who held the key to Jack's heart, but with time.. she eventually learned to move on, and she realized that even if Jack was the only man she would ever truly love, it didn't neccessarly mean he was the only man she was meant to be with. For now, she vowed to make the best of things by befriending Livvie, even if it was the last thing she wanted.. all that really mattered to her at this point was the recovery of her beloved sister, and fighting over a lost cause was the furthest from her mind.  
  
"I believe that Ian knows what is best when it comes to his patients." she remarked. "He is a liscensed doctor, ya know." she stated matter-of-factly.  
  
Livvie wanted to hit her with a comeback so badly, but even she knew that it would make her look like the bad girl. "Of course, I know he's a doctor." she let out a slight, invoulantary chuckle. "Yet, I bet even you didn't know that Ian has been known for making the wrong decisions and even costing patients their lives, have you?"  
  
Natalie's smile turned to ice at Livvie's remark. She hoped more than anything that her last remark was anything but true, soon turning to Jack, she questioned him, "Jack, is this true?" her words revealing a tragic tone of fear.  
  
Jack didn't know how to answer that, because even he knew that Livvie was right about Ian.. he did cause a patients death once.. but that was all in the past. Turning towards Livvie, and giving her a disapproving look, she shrugged and whispered, 'I'm sorry'. He quickly turned his attention back to Natalie, "That's the last thing you need to be worrying about right now." he answered, sternly. "Just focus your attention on Alison, and her alone, okay?"  
  
Natalie sighed deeply, "I will." she answered. "In fact, I don't think I could think about anything else, even if I wanted to."  
  
********************  
  
Only a few rooms down from ICU, Rafe laid unconcious in a hospital bed of his own. His face was swollen and bruised, he had recieved multiple deep, cuts all over his body from the broken windsheild in Alison's vehichle.. a broken leg, and a few broken ribs. Aside from that, everything else was just fine. The doctors' considered him to be lucky, some even referred to his remarkable, quick recovery as a "miracle", or being "touched be an angel".. but what they didn't know was that he, was of course, an angel.   
  
Unlike Alison, Rafe wasn't admitted to a coma, even though he had been thrown through the windsheild during the accident.. Ed had been watching down on him, making sure that he'd live through every horrible, heartbreaking moment of this accident. In bed, Rafe was still unconcious.. but sleeping. Every now and again, he'd whisper Alison's name as he was reliving the accident over and over again in his dreams.  
  
"Alison! Watch out!" he yelled frantically as he witnessed the on-coming semi in their lane. Alison's eyes soon averted to the road, but it seemed to be too late.. before either was able to take in what was about to happen, Alison was saying goodbye to Rafe, and Rafe was being thrown from the car.  
  
That image replayed continusly in his mind as he woke up in a cold sweat. He looked around himself, taken in by the view of the room. He couldn't exactly remember how he got there at first, then the accident came into play and all Rafe could think about was Alison. She was all he ever thought about. He knew that there was a minor possibility that she could be dead, but he wouldn't accept that.. he couldn't. All he knew was that he had to see her, he had to make sure she was alright.  
  
Using up all the strength that he could energize at the time being, he forced himself out of bed, eventually falling to the floor. He held his leg in great pain, realizing that it was broken.. he knew he wouldn't be able to walk to get to Alison. Deciding to go with his last resort, he crawled to the door, reaching for the handle and forcing it open. Just down the hall he saw Livvie, Jack and two other people he couldn't recognize gathered together in front of Intensive Care.  
  
"Livvie!" he called out loudly. "Livvie!"  
  
Hearing her name being called, Livvie turned in the direction of the person who had been calling her. It was Rafe. *Rafe?* she questioned herself. She turned away for a slight moment, looking to Jack, Natalie and Jason. Noticing how they were deep in their own conversation, she decided to slip away and go to Rafe. Rushing quickly down the hall, she kneeled down to Rafe's height. "Rafe, are you crazy? What are you doing out of bed?"  
  
"Livvie," he began slowly, pain filling his tone of voice. "I have to see her.. I have to see Alison."  
  
"Rafe, your in no way, shape or form to be going anywhere at the moment. Alison's fine.. she-- she's resting right now." she lied.  
  
Rafe watched Livvie's facial expression while she talked, and he immediately knew that she was lying. "Your lying, Livvie." he stated. "Alison's not at all alright, is she?"  
  
"I--" her voice was suddenly cut off by a loud, annoying alarm. She whipped her head towards the ICU and watched as doctors rushed into Alison's room.  
  
"SHE'S FLATLINING!" yelled Dr. Eve Thornhart.  
  
Livvie's face flushed a ghost white at the doctors announcement, while Natalie stared blankly through the window, placing her hand against the glass as tears fell hopelessly down her cheeks. Jack watched hopelessly in fear as the doctors rushed to help Alison, he soon turned to look at Natalie, his heart broke as he watched a part of her die. The only thing he knew to do was wrap his arms around her, and assure her that Alison was a strong woman, that she'd live through it. But even Jack was unsure of his own words.  
  
"Alison! No!" Rafe cried out abruptly. Feeling as though his heart was being ripped to the seams. He was losing the only woman he had ever loved. "You can't die.. not now. Please, don't die on me. Please." he whispered solemnly to himself. Hoping that god would hear his prayers.  
  
******************** 


End file.
